If you can’t afford my energy, don’t bother shopping here.

May 10, 2025

When do you stop being the backbone? The one that people can selfishly depend on, but nowhere to be found when you need them. When will the people pleasing stop ? Catering to the needs of people, who deserve absolutely nothing. It stops now. Once you restrict the access of your energy being siphoned , you will truly see how exorbitant your essence is. 
For so long I was used to being there for others because I wanted to so badly be needed in some shape or form. I was the one you could count on. I carried the weight of helping others but was mute when it came to setting boundaries. Establishing limits to how much you are willing to accept always makes you feel guilty when you are used to being the “Hero”. Why the hell do I need to be the resilient hero for people that blindly play a villain to me? People can be very fickle. Need you when they are down but drop you like a forgotten hobby when they are up. I was tired of making myself available, then being tossed to the side like an old toy. Always the first to come to the rescue, but thought of last when there were no missions to complete. That gets exhausting due to the sheer fact that people only care about themselves. I remember receiving a phone call from a “friend” , “Hey Scia, are you free”? “Yeah I’m free!”. This was total bullshit as I was lying in bed with a cold feeling lethargic and feeble. It doesn’t help that this “friend” didn’t even bother to ask how I was but instead jumped right into her problems and shortcomings. Blah, blah, blah was all I started hearing because I started to give less of a damn. Reaching out to me became a hot commodity because I was starting to make myself less obtainable. It was good to know that  I was needed but at this point I had to ask myself

“ Was I really needed or was I selfishly sought after?”

 I couldn’t let my energetic field be tainted any longer. I was like  a healthy tree that was starting to deteriorate from a rotten apple. I needed to start watering my own garden to prepare for the harvest of a new found discovery in my life. I needed to stop being the hero, and start being selfish. Instead of putting my needs last, I needed to be first. The moment my consciousness was aware of this, was when I knew the power that I truly held.

When you purchase something, out of instinct you make your purchase without questioning the price or trying to bargain a good deal. Start doing that with your energy. If you see that the people around you don’t have sufficient funds to deal with you, then simply decline the transaction. Your energy is not some account with a grace period because someone’s account overdrafted on common decency.  It’s safe to say I knew I was a force to be reckoned with. I knew that all the energy I was now cementing  into myself would leave me with an opulent aura demanding care and respect. For so long I had the weight of other people’s worlds on my shoulders that I didn’t realize I was crumbling. I was nurturing others and offering guidance and wisdom, but I lacked boundaries. Why should I keep giving to those who only take and don’t value me at my core? I wanted to be bitter, but I knew I had to be better. I had to own my shit and stop letting others borrow my frequency for a fleeting revival.The people who were once in my life started falling away like leaves on a tree during the fall, and I started juxtaposing myself with individuals that would match the frequency of my new found liberation. 
It’s easy to look back and blame yourself for not seeing the red flags earlier, or for not being strong enough to to stand up for yourself. I was wondering “Wow, why did I allow this treatment to prolong for so long ?” I could’ve thought myself into a Spiral of questions that would probably never give me a sense of validation for answers that I was seeking. The beauty in this were the lessons that came with it. I would’ve never known my worth until I was tested past my limits by those who truly didn’t deserve a gem like me.

“On the brink of bitter sweetness was the satisfaction that I learned my energy doesn’t have to be hidden, it just needs to be accessible to those who earned it.”

Those who matched my vibrational frequency and didn’t make me feel like a  bystander in my own anecdote.

  When push comes to shove I have learned to reserve my vivacity. I would no longer let the residue of me being manipulated and exploited run the show any longer. I was becoming more discerning and understanding that I am no one’s pocket therapist or confidant that you can call on at any given time like a 24/7 hotline.I was no one’s wash rag to clean up any spilled milk that I didn’t spill. 

“No is a complete sentence, not a death sentence.”

The only death was to the ego of those who greedily feasted on my healing nature. No, I am no longer available. My energy is expensive and it is clear you can’t afford it.