Let’s toast to life feeling like a velvet rope that starts snapping on things that were supposed to happen, but didn’t.

Honestly speaking, I don’t even feel twenty-six. I feel like twenty-shit. I’m no longer where I used to be, but yet I’m not where I want to be. Symbolically speaking, it’s like being in a void of dimensions that are wrestling to morph you into either a new timeline or one that is way past its expiration date—like expired milk that’s been hiding behind your leftovers. It’s like you’re deemed a seasoned adult to file taxes and apply for loans but yet life has so many spins that make you feel like a little kid navigating their first day or kindergarten. Just when you think you have a clean shirt, juice splashes all over it, forcing you to change clothes. That’s kinda what life feels like right now as a 26-year-old. Just when you think you mastered checkers, you’re actually in a brutalized game of chess.

False Timelines That Stink 

You know…we tend to idolize our dream lives to be like a fairytale that falls in order like a good ole cliché plot. Maybe a good career, nice house, maybe some kids, or money in your bank account where you can actually grocery shop without worrying about an overdraft balance. The good ole shit that we were told makes us whole in life. Then on top of that you’re expected to do this all in a timely manner— because if you don’t then you’re behind.

My gosh this is like running a marathon without water. Can I quench my thirst of curiosity before I take calculated leaps all under the guise of a perfect timeline?

It’s time we shatter the glass on timelines and let the shards fall on the expectations that we had. I’ve been looking at my Vision board like an evil twin that I only see on holidays, because in some way I felt betrayed. I’m only 26 and I’m mourning things that didn’t happen because I’m forcing a timeline that hasn’t learned to breathe yet. We always hear that Rome wasn’t built in one day, but neither is your life (unless you’re one quantum leaping freak then you get a pass).

Let go of that timeline that’s holding a weight of expectations. It’s too heavy and we’re not doing cardio against our will for heavy-ass timelines.

New Hope Now Jump Rope

Yeah,I said jump rope because it’s time to start swinging between life’s curved lines like you’re at a hopscotch competition. I may not have the funds to provide me with all my wants—because let’s be real, your girl loves a good shoe sale. However I have the funds that will provide me with necessities like food, bills and essentially some of the adult things that matter right?

I used to believe that all hope was lost because nothing happened just yet. I thought, well, if it didn’t happen now, then it never will— because pessimism is a bitch, and I was obviously the adopted daughter of it. I was voluntarily aging myself out of manifestations that are still packing their bags. I’m pretty sure if they were human for a day, they would be mad that I rushed them to hurry up and pack so that they were not late—only to find out we made it just in time.

Sometimes you have to let yourself have newfound hope from a cup half full because things aren’t meant to be linear. The whole time you’re using a ruler to map out your life in a straight line,when in reality you get a few scriggly lines here and there (unless you handle straight lines like a math teacher!).

I want you to see everything that hasn’t happened for you YET as a reason to have hope again. This wasn’t punishment nor the final destination you know. Had it happened before, can you honestly say you’d be ready? Seriously— answer from the truth and not the ego that’s telling you otherwise.

I swear I thought my mid twenties would be the pinnacle, but it’s merely just a cusp. I’m cool with that now because I’m on a journey—not a sprint. Sometimes you have to be ok with missing a few pit stops that you thought would be on time.

Navigating With Grace Please

Pretty please—because we aren’t going to spiral over a dream life that was only an illusion dressed as the truth in discounted lipstick.

Truth is, being harder on yourself is worse than a boss with morning breath  who can’t stop assigning tasks. If you envisioned that image and cringed, then you know what I mean. We jump through so many hoops but never give ourselves grace. We’re allowed to navigate life like a baby learning its first steps.

I assumed I was doing everything right and thought I was on my way to securing the ripe point of adulthood, only to be kicked in the gut against a wall. Everything that I knew was clearly baloney, because I was stripped of any constellations that were in my galaxy of grit and faux resilience.

I needed to be more svelte in my approach because life is meant to be sailed through from a different lens of understanding. Yeah, this might sound like some philosopher who knows it all and might be on some college course. Long story short—I don’t know shit.

Be ok with not knowing what’s next because age isn’t a limit. It’s only a portal into the next chapter of your story. 

The Indie Movie Scene Take

So what if you don’t have the fancy car, or the high-salary job, the wedding with that dress you saved from Pinterest or that home you saved on Zillow only to see that dreadful “sold” notification (How dare they, right?) Sometimes you are right where you need to be because life doesn’t reward straight lines and rigid timelines. It fancies those effed-up lines that make you question why you aren’t where you are yet.

It’s  because it leads to the answer of who you want to be when you get there.

This is your signed permission slip to just breathe . To no longer grieve outcomes that never materialized.  

Alright this is the part where I hang up and you’re now deep in thought—because you see, you aren’t a failure. You are right where you need to be and there’s no doubt about it.

This isn’t a blog, it’s a portal.

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