If we assume we know it all, does that make us all psychics? Or arrogant to reality? 

Ok, so the day is overcast and it feels like a weird sci-fi movie. The type that was a box office hit, but no one remembers it enough to talk about it. Probably sitting somewhere in a thrift store labeled as a “classic” for $2.99.

OK You Caught Me

Anyway, I just finished paying some debt and for once I don’ feel like I’m being bullied harder than the entity HOA or the rats of NYC(They obviously pay rent).I’m just ecstatic to be handling business despite some initial chaos. The world wants to molded you into a hard piece of gum. It’s almost as if when it’s time to be soft, the concept is more foreign than warming up bubblegum in the microwave (Please don’t try this, I did and….it was awesome). To hell with being detached and surviving anther day with coffee that taste like ink to help you survive. These days I’m giving myself permisiion to live more. It’s been too expensive to keep up with the rigid machine that treats no time off as the golden ticket out of capitalisms ass. I’m insufficient on running the rat race and don’t intend on balancing my account of just surviving.You know…I always imagined what thriving feels like. I just didn’t anticipate that it would cozy up in the simple days like waking up and smiling or buying groceries without having to put the expensive bread back. And yes, I definitely didn’t contemplate bathroom breaks feeling like heaven on Earth when you don’t have to rush to clock into another day of doom. Life is quite ironic when you start making sprite out of lemons. Like it’s not supposed to be sweet and comforting—but more so sweet with a kick. You just never know what pleasures are pleasurable until you find yourself standing next to it like the guy at the bar.

Good News, I’m Balling!

I suppose the good vibes were emanating from me as I danced to music without a care in the world. I was obviously in my own TBS show that I didn’t know about because a random older gentlemen danced with me before asking for a dollar. Record scratch moment—I know. I’m releasing the shackles or material hoarding so the dollar was his lucky fate rather than my limiting bull crap. Do you ever feel like your wallet gasps for air Everytime you open it? Well this time I didnt feel like I was losing out. I’m learning to treat money as flowing rather than coming. I lose $5 and I’ll get $10 back. I might not be splurging on steaks but I’m indulging in rewriting the scarcity mindset that I believed was keeping me safe, sane even. Ok maybe insane since money felt like a pimp and I became its bitch.

Safety Sucks Sometimes

Sometimes we never really want safety, we want freedom. It’s funny how freedom comes with a checklist that would even make the world’s strictest boss cringe. I think safety in some way keeps you small from initiating yourself into expansion. I’m having a philosophical moment here so hold my ginger-ale (no beer sorry!)Being safe comes with the comfort of knowing but the lack of not knowing. It morphs into a mundane cycle that embraces you in a warm hug that smells kinda stale. I’m letting loose because I refuse to let exploration be a pipe dream. Or time off be a permission that is denied.

Hear Me Out

Life can be a bitch sometimes, but I don’t want to feel like it’s secret mistress anymore. I will go to Dollar Tree at night (Despite it being a ghost town), I will pay bills without wanting to cry like I watched the Titanic and I will do something each day that brings joy like I won the lottery. Or in this climate like I am finally debt free. I don’t have to have it all figured out, but I need to start somewhere. Start with me so we can escape this mental prison of safety.

This isn’t a blog, it’s a portal.

Wanna be seen and kept in the loop? Subscribe to the newsletter now!

Check Out Our Shops!