Happy New Year! Again, and again until someone finally turns the lights on and the laundry from the past year is still on the floor

Every year presents clarity that seems to mirror  triumph once the clock strikes 12 right? Please agree so at least I’m not the only one that feels this way. The celebrations are all symbolic because they celebrate the denouement of a chapter or the genesis of one. Yes, even that martini or Patron shot you probably had can serve as a subtle interlude into the music video of your life. I had a cup of tea, so where does this leave us tea folks? Anyway, what happens when the new year becomes ambiguous with a fresh start and a resumed pause?The thought is more tune-in worthy than a Lifetime  movie premiere (okay, maybe not the Saturday movie nights).

Continued Cycles

The new year is like reading a book—you may pause on a chapter to do something like doomscroll for hours on end (I’m guilty too, high five). Or maybe resuming a TV show only to skip to season five, although you’ve rarely finished season three. The chapter or season doesn’t just magically finish itself. It waits for you to resume completion. 

It may sound a bit ominous in nature, but cycles don’t just end because January 1st told us so. I’ll be honest, there’s been years where endings returned as redundancy in a new container. Same soup, different tupperware that isn’t stained kind-of-deal. I flirted with the fantasy of swift success outright because I just assumed the new year needed to reward me for trying right? Sure, I wouldn’t win the lottery (although we all anticipate it to clock out indefinitely), but I was sure that my bet on probability would translate into something tangible. 

The new year only mirrors what was previously present. We could live in la la land, but the real world wants tact. Short word, big expectations—how convenient. Cycles need to end in internal completion before external change could come in. It sucks, but this is no different than avoiding your bank account in public because your balance is having its own comedy special. 

Hope Kinda Restored?

If the word hope was a person, she’d be petite in stature and enormous in presence . You see how this minuscule ass word expects us to tug onto it like Tuesdays leftovers. Aside from the sarcastic lore, all isn’t lost . You set the tone to see the year from a glass half full, just a little less crappier.

 It’s almost as if the year became a gym membership that you’re actually dedicated to (we’ve all been victimized by a $0 down gym promo!).You start mapping out your life like it makes sense because the hope of the new year tells you that the probabilities are fluid. This is the equivalent of cleaning your bedroom at 3 a.m. and suddenly having a new character arc. Not villainous of course (right?) 

What felt like loss feels like the scales can finally be balanced due to a patient grit that doesn’t see time as the enemy. The line only seems to dissolve when hope gets blurred with luck. It’s like finding out that cotton candy melts when you dip it in water (we’ve  all tried this…I think?). This is what makes it ambiguous. Hope brings clarity not microwave ready solutions. And honestly if they were microwave ready, stocking up at the grocery store would be mandatory. There’s a chance to start fresh or refocus from a different lens, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The word just can’t take a form on its own that guarantees outcomes that kinda wish you didn’t count on them.

New Rhythm, Same Container?

Same dance moves, new rhythm. For my two left feet people out there, how are you holding up dancing with your same moves to a different song? It’s okay— I can’t dance for shit but for every song, I do the same thing. That’s exactly what it feels like to have a new rhythm in the same container. 

A to do list that should really be a to don’t list and a planner that wants to stifle a slick laugh because it’s the same B.S., different year. Different month, different century..wait too far. You oscillate between change and familiarity, so the two link up like besties and cause quiet chaos. I know we aren’t being asked to metamorphosize overnight, but do we really need a grand entrance for the same threshold? 

I started off the year with applying for roles with “stability”. Updated resume? Check. Firm follow-up? Check. Microscopic attention to aligned skills?Someone just get me a gold medal already. I was performing the same dance moves for a show that clearly eliminated me in the first season.

 The only reason we follow different steps in the same pattern is because it makes sense. To do a 360 change would be a task, so a slight 90 degree angle is cool. Sometimes the new year forces us to pop containers and let the contents of familiarity spill. The point is we can’t expect the new year to open up a new portal if we’re still B.S.ing in the old one. 

New Year, New?

The new year being ambiguous doesn’t actually suck. It just requires a perspective that doesn’t mix myth with practicality. Don’t think about it too hard, it’s not a Friday pop quiz. What will you let the new year be to you?

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