If you had what you want, you wouldn’t appreciate it. 

I applied to so many jobs thinking that it would be “The One”. The magical one to pay the bills, make me feel secure, and give me comfort as long as I obeyed a schedule I wasn’t comfortable with.

 It was like a fairy godmother giving you a stained shirt but still convincing you that a shirt is a shirt. It was starting to feel like a reality show of “How High Can You Go”, or in other words, how much of a dumbass you will be for a job that already decided you weren’t chosen.

 I was tweaking resumes and auditioning for imagined conversations as if I was a high-budget actor. The truth was I indeed was one.I was masking my collapse as strength because who wants to feel hopeless while at the grocery store wondering if you have enough. I energetically taxed myself on hope knowing it wasn’t affordable. I’m not the only one that feels this way, so I think we need to talk about bridge jobs.

Handling Essentials

If you ever added water to your soap or body wash to make it stretch, get in here! Seriously, there’s no judgement. 

A bridge job does serve a fair purpose and that’s making sure your essentials are covered. With the gas prices acting brand new once again, it’s safe to say I’ll be okay to fill my tank—no matter how betrayed I feel by the 45 cent increase. Covering car insurance isn’t an obstacle course of seeing how much change you can scrape either. There has been times when I’ve felt a bit hopeless when it came to balancing bills and essentials.

 It’s like being the lead in a movie, except your happy ending is autopay being the hero for once. There’s no shame in having a bridge job to keep you afloat, because drowning becomes a flooded cycle that doesn’t come to shore. 

I have to be honest, I’ve picked up a few shifts with some gig apps and I was able to actually handle my business like an adult. Not the Barbie dress up version, but the one who handled car maintenance and grocery runs in one day. That’s actually kinda badass in today’s fickle economy. 

Halt the applause though. I had to put my ego to the side of “I could do better”. Sure that may have been true on paper and with a degree that decided to join the circus—a bridge job was my next entry point. No shame, because I just splurged on body care essentials and had enough to hold me over. 

Mission 2: Getting Clear On What You Actually Want

I was actually alternating between the idea of the job I wanted and didn’t want. It was to the point that I was desperate to accept anything out of pure survival. I was wearing my survival mode as fashion that was out of style. 

Have you ever applied for a job, and it was everything that you thought you wanted but it turns out it was the quarter fluke of the century? Well I’ve been down this road a few times.Decent pay, okay hours and reasonable commute distance. All things that were contingent on if it was something I’d be okay with doing long term. I was not okay. I pretended that I was so that it could veil my true feelings of dissatisfaction. 

I recall doing operations for a fashion brand and stylist roles in the fashion sector of retail. I assumed that this is something I could see myself doing. This was something feasible to show for something. It seemed respectable to say “Hey, I do XYZ..”. The kicker is that it’s not what I really wanted. My days were starting to turn into a loop that mocked Deja vu. It was intentional because it felt “acceptable”.  Sometimes you have to hit a certain point or start over just to get clear on what you actually want to receive and keep. 

Sure I applied to a few logistics roles, but as I picked up a bridge job involving logistics I had a huge what the hell moment. This was one of those epiphanies that forced me into a crossroads of a decision to make. Although it felt like I was being pushed without warning on a zip line (Hi Belize vacation, I missed you!), it needed to be done. I needed to stop fabricating my desires just for surface comfort. 

Sure, I never expected to return to warehouse work again but this bridge job is only a mirror. And I mean the one without cracks that forces you to see where you are without the distorted distractions. 

Use your bridge job to get clear on what it is that you want. Whether it’s autonomy, a certain pinnacle of stability or to travel without warning (I call dibs on booking my flight to Las Vegas), then it is for you to decide. It’s not punishment, it’s initiation.

Mission #3: Preparation For Your Next Phase

Your next phase will be one where you’re a bit more clear on where you’re headed and how to proceed. Not with caution but more like proactive leaps that make sense. Okay, also inspired steps because this is the part of the movie where an old school song comes on and things simultaneously work out. Be prepared for things to actually work on your terms instead of waiting for someone to say jump. 

Currently I’m preparing to actually do things that make me happy to wake up. I’m applying to jobs that feel like a cup of fulfillment, starting stuff I’ve hesitated on and I’m prepared to take steps that sort of scare the shit out of me. There’s nothing more scarier than staying stuck, so my bridge job has served as a witness and helping hand to my next pivotal moment.

Would it be too far and grown if I said I’m prepared to set all my bills on autopay though ?

Your Bridge Job Isn’t A Savior

Your bridge job isn’t a savior, and you are not a damsel in distress. The whole purpose should be to just utilize it to your advantage while you get your ducks in a row. Accepting what you don’t want temporarily keeps you accepting something that you couldn’t hold had it come in too early.

Don’t let your ego convince you that you’re too good. No one is ever too good for starting over or taking a step back. My ego almost convinced me that being idle is okay. That’s for vehicles, not me.

This isn’t a blog, it’s a portal.

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